A Lesson for My Sons

Dear Liam and Derek,

Something horrible and scary happened last Friday.  The details are more than any small child should have to know or deal with at all so I will just say that someone evil did an evil thing to a lot of innocent people.  The fact is these kinds of things happen.  What you need to know is that your father and I are here to protect you.  You are not ready to protect yourself and you do not have to.

When that horrible thing happened your father and I were very sad and shaken up.  You know why?  Because we love you two more than anything.  We couldn't bear the thought of anything so scary ever happening to you.  It reminded us of what is most important to us: our sweet little Fish and Bear. 

Since then I have  thought a lot about what I want to learn from this event so that I can pass that learning on to you.  What I have learned is simple.  Life is short and sacred.  We must always show the ones we love how much we love them.  Most of all, sometimes things happen that just don't make sense... that aren't right and aren't fair and that cannot be explained.  You have to face those events with grace and dignity.  You have to be brave and strong. 

You don't have to be strong or brave yet.  We will do that for you.  But, someday, you will be men: husbands and fathers.  You will have to face things that you may not like and that you may not understand.  I hope that nothing so awful as what happened last week ever happens to you.  I hope that the worst of it for you is relatively mild.  I can't promise that because sometimes things just happen but, my goodness, do I hope that for you. 

I want you to know that we all face challenges, fear and injustice.  No one is immune.  I have faced plenty of it myself.  However, the things that have been the most difficult have prepared me to be your mother which is, without question, the hardest job I have ever had.  I am much better for having faced those obstacles and those fears. There is no shame in being afraid but you can't let your fear get the best of you. Do not hide from your fears.  Ever.  Be the kind of men who face things and the kind of men who protect others when necessary.  You may not understand why you have to be strong or it may seem unfair that your life has taken a certain turn but that is life.  You can't always make sense of it.  You certainly can't control the behavior of others. 

There are people in this world who, sadly, are not good and who do not have others' best intentions in mind.  That is just the truth.  However, there are lots more people who are kind and loving and who will help you when you are in need.  Most importantly, you MUST be one of the good guys.  You must always be a kind and loving person and act with care for others.  It is imperative.  I am your mother and I am ordering you to do so. 

Life is truly beautiful.  I promise.  There will be more sunny days than stormy skies.  There will be great joy from the most hideous situations.  You will see.  You will understand this more as you get older.   For now, just trust me and always move forward with an open heart and a happy spirit.  And when it comes time to be men, try to be the kind of men that other men strive to be.  It won't be easy but it will be worth it.

I read this quote once and I think it is fitting here: 

"There are monsters, and it's okay to be afraid of them but it's not okay to let them win and it's not okay to be one."

That is the absolute, unequivocal truth. 

I love you more than you could possibly ever know.  You are the greatest joys in my life and my greatest source of pride.  You are special and important and I am grateful to have been so lucky to get to be your mother.  Your father and I will always love you and could not imagine a life without you. 

Mommy

One Kings Lane Has AWESOME Deals right now!

I am thrifty to a fault and I am obsessed with One Kings Lane right now for Christmas gifts.  Earlier this week I posted about the Melissa and Doug toys.  They are still on sale... but not for much longer. It's worth checking out though!   I bought two Melissa and Doug toys and spent a total of $22 bucks with shipping. That's less than ONE would have cost had I bought them at retail. 

They added new sales and you can get a similar "BOGO" deal just for becoming a member.  If you didn't read my last post about One King's Lane, then here's the deal:  They are giving every new member $15 good toward any purchase of $30 or more.  If you buy two items that cost right around $15 then you basically get one free.  There are plenty of $15 items.  You could share this deal with a friend who wanted the same item (or even a different $15 item) and get an even better deal.

Here are some items that are on the site for about $15:

*$16.00 - Scented Pinecones, in the "Deck the Halls" sale*

*Curly "Ting"  - 16.00,  In the "Deck the Halls" sale*

*Credit Card Case - $19.00, In the "Gifts Under $100" sale*

*Holiday Stripe Cache Pot - $17.00, In the "Jayes" sale*

There is lots more, too!  Lots of gifts and holiday decor and more.  Oooooh how I love a deal!

If you are interested in the Melissa and Doug toys, check out this post:Melissa and Doug Toys Deal


And here is the link again:  One Kings Lane

Just a note:  I am not becoming a deals blogger but I also think a big part of being a SAHM (at least for me)  is finding deals and bargains that can help make up for your own lack of income.  I hope other Moms (and Dads) take advantage of this deal and save some money this Christmas!

Annoying Motherhood Quote # 2

 If this is the case, then perhaps I am not such a good mom:


I will give my children everything that they need and I will certainly sacrifice so that they can be happy, healthy and well cared for. I always think to buy things for them before myself. I feed Liam nutritious and carefully prepared meals while I eat Ramen noodles for lunch. I struggle with putting myself first but I really feel that it is unhealthy for the kids to come first every moment of every day. If there is not enough pie for everyone perhaps I will share a slice with Dad. If I do let them have the pie, I think I may mention that I do like pie and I would like some next time. Stuff like this sets us up to feel like failures. It's not fair to expect us to always take a back seat and never put ourselves first. Plus, it's not good for our kids. Kids need happy parents who do what makes them feel good too. Parenting is a selfless endeavor and the kids should and do come first but no one can be 100 % selfless. I have to remind myself of this often. I would rather be a happy mom than a martyr and I am sure that is what my boys would prefer as well.

A Deal I Couldn't Resist Sharing

OK so I love to share deals!  This is a great one for Christmas gifts!  One King's Lane is giving a $15 credit to every new member who signs up.  There are some really cute Melissa and Doug toys being sold for $15, which is a good deal anyway.  You have to spend at leats $30 to redeem your credit BUT that is easy to do.  Buy 2 Melissa and Doug toys and, with shipping and everything, get them for basically BOGO.  There is other cool stuff on the site too but the toys were such a great deal.  M & D toys are awesome and high quality and I know lots of Moms would love to get them!  Here is the link:

 One Kings Lane

The toys are in the "Wish List" sale! 

Annoying Motherhood Quote # 1

I get kind of (really) sick of hearing and seeing these quotes, sayings and little phrases that are supposed to sum up motherhood.  Many of them are meant to be encouraging reminders but, to me, they often come across as condescending and unrealistic.  I love being a mom and my kids are mine and Daniel's whole world (just take a look at my Facebook status updates and photos for the last 2 years or so and you will see what I mean).  I can't imagine our lives without them.  Those boys are the best thing that ever happened to us.  With that said, I am going to start posting some quotes/sayings/etc. about parenting that I find thoroughly annoying.  I guess it seems like a "Negative Nancy" thing to do but so be it.

This is installment # 1. 

1.  This one is all over Pinterest, I have seen it printed on plaques and books and is definitel a Facebook favorite.


I get it.  The kids come before the mopping.  The kids' happiness is wayyy more important than a perfect, immaculate home.  This is why my house is FAR (farrrrrr) from immaculate.  However, I have to say that I feel a kid who grows up in a well-kept, clean and safe home is better off and, probably, generally happier.   Plus, it sets a good example for how they should keep their homes as adults.  I love that our house is generally neat and organized.  The boys' things aren't strewn about everywhere.  They have clean clothes to wear.  I can prepare their meals in clean, sanitary kitchen.  Sorry, but these things matter too.  I want my sons to remember growing up in a home in which their family took pride. (Side note: I am also extremely grateful that they have a father that sets an example for manhood which involves helping out around the house.)  This quote is annoying to me because it is, as most of these motherhood quotes are, an unrealistic overgeneralization.  Now I am supposed to feel BAD if I keep my house tidy?  I call B.S. 

This Just Happened...

I am writing this post for 2 reasons: 1.  I bet it makes some of you (especially parents) laugh and 2.  I want to remember every single detail of this incident so I can remind Liam of it when he is about 15 and then every couple of months thereafter.  

I am not exaggerating or adding anything to this story.  This is EXACTLY what happened. I just texted Daniel and told him that even I, a relatively seasoned mother at this point, was shocked by what just took place. This is my life.  Welcome to it.

As all parents will understand, I am intimately acquainted with my kids' bowel movements.  I know exactly when they poop usually, how much, what it should look like and smell like and whether anything seems "off" with their pooping habits.  I know to single childless people this sounds both gross and probably insane but it's just true.  With that said, I won't go into too much detail and just say that Liam has been constipated.  When I realized this, I did what any good parent would do and set to work remedying the issue.  My typical solution is juice and fruit so for the last 36 hours or so his diet has been heavy in both.

Well... it worked. 

Oh my, did it work.

After a lunch of apples, peaches, Cheerios, juice (and a couple of pieces of turkey for good measure) I did what I always do.  I got the boys ready for our daily walk.  I always get them a fresh diaper, bundle them up if its cool and off we go.  I was dismayed that when I went to change Liam's diaper before our walk he had not yet... well... you know.

When they were ready I grabbed Derek and put him in the stroller. This requires a fair amount of strapping and, though he loves the stroller and riding in it, he hates being strapped in.  He fussed and whined but I got him strapped. With the door open so I could see Derek I went to get Liam from his playpen.  I realized at this point that he had finally pooped.  Success!  BUT Derek was outside in the stroller so I had to think quick. Taking him out and bringing him back in would cause a total  meltdown on his part which usually leads to a total meltdown on Liam's part... sooo...  I ran to Liam's room grabbed his wipes and a diaper and ran back outside so as not to leave Derek alone.  I changed Liam in the grass. Little bits of sticks and dirt kept clinging to him but I eventually got him clean and freshly diapered.  Had the story ended here it would have been chuckle worthy.  "What terrible timing the kid has!" I would say as I laughed and told Daniel about it this evening.  But no... the plot thickens.

We then went on our 45 minute walk.  Around minute 10 I noticed a strange smell but thought it was just some strange odor in the neighborhood - road kill, perhaps or someone's garbage can overturned.  It wasn't until minute 20 or so (20 minutes from home now, you must remember) that I realized the smell wasn't going anywhere.  It seemed to be following us.  Or... was it us?  My first instinct was to sniff Derek but when he came up smelling like a rose, I turned my attention to the front of the stroller.  I didn't have to smell Liam because it was all the way down to his shoes, in his pants and up his waist.  How it had worked itself all over his body I will never know but what I did know was I was going to have to bring him back the 20 minute walk in the other direction covered in his own feces.  I felt awful but had no choice.  I walked as fast as I could and jogged some too (a lot more difficult than it sounds with 45 pounds of baby in a stroller).  We made it home in about 13 minutes. 

I immediately grabbed Liam out of the stroller, ran inside, tossed him in his playpen, ran back outside and grabbed Derek, set him in his chair and then started the bath.  While the bath was running I tore Liam's clothes off and went to wipe off the poo streaming down his legs only to suddenly remember that the wipes were still sitting on the porch.  I considered opening a new pack or running to Derek's room but I was terrified of what Liam would do in the meantime and by this time Derek was starting to cry.  Sooo I just put Liam in the bath tub and sprayed him down, emptied the water and then filled the bath again.  I scrubbed him quickly and then put him in a diaper and put him in his playpen and put on Megamind (a personal lifeline).    I debated whether leaving him pantless was smart because he has been known to take his diaper off but felt confident that he would be sufficiently distracted by Megamind and, surely, he had no more poop left, right?  And poor Derek was crying.  He was hungry.

I actually had this thought: 'Oh well.  If he takes his diaper off it will only be pee..." 

I then ran and made Derek a bottle and as I was feeding him tried to keep an eye on Liam to make sure he left his diaper alone.  I said twice, "Let me see your diaper" and he stood where I could see that it was securely fastened.  I then made the fatal mistake of closing my eyes.  I just wanted a moment of peace and quiet.  Neither of them was crying.  They were both content.  I just closed my eyes for probably one minute, maybe 90 seconds.The next thing I knew I heard a THUD followed by Liam yelling, "Yuck!"  I opened my eyes to find him totally naked sitting in his little arm chair smearing poop on the arms and back of it.  His diaper was laying at my feet... filled with poop.

That just happened.

Our Fur Babies

Let me begin by saying I am ridiculously inconsistent with this blog and I know I am.  However, I do feel as though I have a few decent reasons why I have slacked off.
 
1. I have 2 babies under 2!
2. I have made a commitment to exercise for at least 45 minutes per day 6 - 7 days a week.
3. I have started writing internet content freelance.

Truth be told, I can barely find the time to shower some days. 

However, I really love writing this blog.  It is fun and kind of therapeutic to confess, gripe, brag and joke around and let the world get a little glimpse of my life. I also get feedback from others that says my posts are encouraging which is very encouraging to me. I really WANT to blog more often...It may or may not happen but I am going to try.

So, without further ado, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, a blog post about something I haven't talked about a whole lot on this blog.  I want to talk about 4 pretty special members of our family!  Our pets: Phoebe, Mieke, Cujo and Lady!  When Daniel and I had our sons we tried very hard not to let the animals take a back seat but, unfortunately, they do at times.  It's just the way it goes, I guess.  I just want to take a minute to celebrate them because they bring a lot of joy and richness to our family life and they are 4 of the greatest animals to ever live!

This is Phoebe:

First things first, there are two black cats and this one is PHOEBE. His face is rounder than Cujo's and, yes, we can tell them apart.  To clarify further, he is a BOY, yes.  Daniel named him thinking he was a girl and by the time he learned that he was a boy it was too late to change his name. Weird, yes, but that's just the way it is atound here.  Daniel often says he thinks of "Phoebe" as a boys' name now.  That's how normal it seems to us by now.

  This picture was taken at our rental house probably 5 years ago or more.  He used to love to sit in this little pink box which was the wrapping to a gift originally.  I was not around for the initial adoption of this box because he was Daniel's cat when I met him.  I just know he loved it and Daniel saved it for him and Phoebe sat in it, slept in it and enjoyed it for many years.  The box didn't make the move to our new house with us.

Phoebe may have started out as Daniel's cat but he is definitely mine now.  I love this cat so much it makes my heart hurt just to think of it.  He is sweet and loyal like a dog.  He gives kisses on the lips (you may think this is gross but I love his little sandpaper kisses), loves to cuddle and comes when he is called.  Oh my goodness, he is a sweetie pie and we would be lost without his sweet little personality in our lives.  He is a bit spoiled and can be highly over dramatic (screeches heard throughout the house if you startle him, for instance) but he is a good little dude and I, personally, would be lost without him!

 

This is Mieke:

There are far better pictures of Mieke out there because she is absolutely beautiful and majestic looking but I like this picture very much.  This is a picture of Mieke and I when I was pregnant with Liam.  Please excuse my appearance.  I just love this picture of us because it sums up her sweet, loving, personality.  She already loved Liam!  She is still the most gentle, kind, loving friend to our boys.  She looks after them and really adores them.  They both love her right back. Liam climbs all over her, "pets" her (pulls her fur) and loves to jingle her collar and tags.  Though he often seems to annoy her she never complains.  She rarely even moves as he yanks on her ears or tries to eat her foot (gross, I know.)  She and Derek will sometimes just sit and stare at one another in this loving way that is pretty adorable.

Mieke is a beautiful creature inside and out.  She loves to give love and be loved.  She was hyper and a little crazy as a puppy but now, as an older dog, she is usually very calm.  She wants to be wherever we are and sleeps with us every single night.  As a matter of fact, if Daniel is working nights she will sleep all night with me and then go to bed with him when he gets home.  This is probably about 50% laziness but the other 50 % is pure L.O.V.E.  I know this because I know her and she is as sweet, special and affectionate as any dog can be.

Daniel and Mieke have a special relationship and she loves him the most, by far, but that is OK with me because they make each other very happy.  I have picture after picture of the two of them and there probably aren't tons more than this one of she and I but that doesn't mean that I don't absolutely adore this pretty blue-eyed girl.

 

This is Cujo:

This picture makes me smile because it really illustrates Cujo to me.  He is a super laid-back cat. He is the only one the cats who lets me do things like this without any fight.  He probably wore that all evening.  He surely didn't care.  He staggers when he walks which led to Daniel and I nicknaming him "Captain Jack."   Also he "fist bumps" with his head (which I guess is actually "head bumping") which is freaking hysterical and adds to his "cool" factor.He is really a character.

To add to his odd and eccentric personality, he doesn't really "meow."  He has this raspy little whisper of a voice that he hardly ever uses unless he is highly agitated or Liam is pulling his tail.  He and Liam have a funny relationship.  Liam really likes him and Cujo tolerates Liam to the best of his ability.  Actually, Cujo seems to be tolerating everything and everyone in life.  The only exception to that rule is Daniel.  He loves Daniel very, very much.  He can take or leave me (eventhough he was MY cat first!) and he likes Phoebe pretty well (they wrestle each other playfully and gang up and beat the crap out of Lady not so playfully) but, really, he seems way too cool for most everyone else. 

 

This is Lady:





She is fat, OLD and a little cranky but Lady is a good, good girl.  She is constantly tortured by the two boys (the cats, not the humans) who team up on her and beat her mercilessly.  We find their claws in her back sometimes. Poor girl.  She is perpetually screaming at the food bowl. I don't think she is hungry but just always anxious that the food will run out. 

We have no idea how old she is because she was a friend of Daniel's and Daniel adopted her. People always ask if she is pregnant because of her big, swaying belly but she is much too old to give birth.  Just lazy and obese.

Lady is generally quietly sleeping on the couch on a green blanket which she has pretty much claimed as her own.  If she isn't there she is under the bed in our room.  She and Mieke get along pretty well and, once in a blue moon, she hops up in mine or Daniel's lap looking for affection.  Mostly, though, she is a loner.  She causes no trouble and she is very sweet.  We joke about not loving her or call her our "redheaded stepchild" but we will be horribly sad when she isn't around anymore. 

 

They have all 4 been around since before Daniel and I even got together.  Cujo was mine and the rest were Daniel's and they were our first "kids."  They have been through it all with us and have seen lots of changes in our lives but they have remained constantly loyal and loving.  They are 4 of the very best friends that we could have ever asked for and I have really enjoyed sitting here writing about them.

 

Here are some more great pictures of our 4 fur babies.