As I wait on this second miraculous boy to join our family, I confess: I am getting a little silly, crazy, irrational and nutty...
1. I don't know if this qualifies as a confession but, if you know me, you know why this is embarrassing and funny. After I read online that dancing can bring on labor, Liam and I have had multiple "Dance Derek Out Parties". The image of my 9 month pregnant self dancing around the living room in my PJ's is hysterical, especially since I can't dance when I am not pregnant. We made a video but that will be for family only viewing as it is both hilarious and a little bit grotesque. It's been a lot of fun even if it doesn't help get Derek out. (Silly)
2. My current worst fear is that I will go into labor suddenly in the middle of the night, my sister in law will have to rush over to sit with Liam and the house will be messy. Thus, every night before bed I straighten everything up. I don't want to leave dishes in the sink and I feel the need to sweep. This is ridiculous because she would not care at all and I know I, personally, would have much bigger fish to fry but I still feel the need to do it every night. (Crazy)
3. I find myself almost crying every day at least once imagining being in the hospital with Derek and being away from Liam for a few days. I literally can't stand the thought. He is the most easy, adjustable, flexible kid and he will be in great hands, of course, but I just find myself emotionally overcome thinking about him being away from both of his parents for an extended period of time and worry that he will think he has been replaced by Derek. : ( (Irrational)
4. I was induced with Liam and never went into labor on my own so I keep worrying that I won't know that I am in labor and I Google the signs of labor over and over. I know everyone says "You'll know.." but my personality is such that I want someone to explain to me EXACTLY what will happen in what order so I can know within, say, 5 minutes of labor beginning that I am, indeed, in labor. I can't stand the not knowing. (Nutty)
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Saturday, June 2, 2012
What Makes a Good Mom?
Can anyone really answer this question? I have pondered this question ever since Daniel and I started considering having kids. What do good moms do? What don't they do? How does one become a good mom? Are there really bad moms? If so, what makes them bad? After pondering and pondering, watching the moms around me, questioning myself, reading books, trying to be self-aware about my own mothering skills, I have come to the conclusion that there is no singular factor that makes you a good mom and the only people who are bad moms, in my opinion, are those that aren't trying (and, in my view, the vast majority of moms are trying). So what I have decided is this - I need to take stock of the great moms and women in my life and see if I can take a little bit of each of them to try and be the best mom I can be. Not a one of them is perfect and I am sure I wouldn't do EVERYTHING any of them did or do with their kids BUT I admire them and I want to learn from them. This is by no means a list of all of the great moms I know. This is just a list of the ones that i am closest to and the ones who have served as role models for me in some way.
My maternal grandmother, Ginger, is nurturing and giving of her time. She has always lived far from me and she used to send me tapes of herself reading me books so I could listen to her as I read along to my Ramona books. She used to sew my Halloween costumes and mail them to me. She makes beautiful blankets, clothes and other handmade things for my sons just as she did for me. She taught me that it's the little things, the gestures of love, the time taken, that children remember and that matter in the long run.
The biggest lesson that I learned from my paternal grandmother, Pat, was that your children are always your children; always your babies. You should love them as such their entire lives. When my father was dying her love for her son was beautiful. He was 50 something but to her he was a child, a baby, and as she told stories of him as a child it was clear that she remembered him almost exclusively as a young person. I learned from her that a mother's role is to always hold her "babies" in her heart. A person can only really remain a child in the eyes of their mother and father and it is important to have those people who will always see you as your most innocent and pure self.
My mother-in-law, Beverly, has shown me that when you love your children you must love ALL of them. You must accept them fully. Daniel is so honest with her and so himself in front of her and she loves him so unconditionally. Everyone needs a mama who thinks they are great NO MATTER WHAT and Beverly really adores her son immensely. Daniel is so certain of his mother's love and admiration that he never fakes anything with her.
My Aunt Judy is opinionated and smart. She tells it as she sees it and she does so with love. I know she probably drives her kids crazy with this at times but people always know she cares enough to tell you her opinion. She loves you enough to make you mad. She is generous in every way and never says things in a mean way. I have learned from her that you have to love your family enough to tell them things they may not want to hear and that, if you have always shown them love, they may get mad, but they will always know that it comes from the heart.
My Aunt Cindy is funny and supportive and kind. She will do anything to help the people she loves. She is an absolutely open-hearted kind person full of laughter and great advice. She is great to talk to and always has something nice to say. She cooks wonderful food, keeps a gorgeous home, says the kindest and most special things and loves others unconditionally. I know from watching her with her kids, grandson, nieces and nephews that a mother's/grandmother's/aunt's home should be a soft place to land full of love and laughter.
My sister-in-laws, all 3 so different, have taught me that loving your kids is an art not a science and there is no right way to do it. They are all so unique but each of them loves their kids in a very special way. Since I met Daniel I have watched them raise their kids and learned lots from each of them. I know, from knowing them and their kids, that all we can do is our best, whatever that may be. The children they have raised, funny and smart and interesting as they all are, have shown me that kids will flourish when loved and nurtured and that it is not always as much the "how" or "what" in raising your children as the "why." As long as the "why" is because you love your kids and want what is best for them you are on the right track.
Finally, my mom was attentive to me as a child. She was always aware of me. She always cared what was going on in my life. She always knew my friends and she watched over me closely. What I take from her is that children not only need to be watched and looked after for their safety but so that they know someone cares. It is important that they know they belong somewhere and with someone. It is important that they know in a big, scary world there is a small corner which is theirs. Growing up, I always knew that I was wanted and special.
I really believe that all the moms I know are good... because they are trying. I really hope that I can take pieces of them all and be a great mom and a great friend (someday) to my sons. I hope, most of all, that they know that I tried... really hard... For all of the mistakes that I may have made, I want them to be able to look back one day and say, "I know she loved us immensely and I know she busted her butt to be the best that she could be for us." That way they'll be able to forgive me if I lose my temper with them or make the wrong choice or tell them a lie because, truthfully, those things are going to happen.
My maternal grandmother, Ginger, is nurturing and giving of her time. She has always lived far from me and she used to send me tapes of herself reading me books so I could listen to her as I read along to my Ramona books. She used to sew my Halloween costumes and mail them to me. She makes beautiful blankets, clothes and other handmade things for my sons just as she did for me. She taught me that it's the little things, the gestures of love, the time taken, that children remember and that matter in the long run.
The biggest lesson that I learned from my paternal grandmother, Pat, was that your children are always your children; always your babies. You should love them as such their entire lives. When my father was dying her love for her son was beautiful. He was 50 something but to her he was a child, a baby, and as she told stories of him as a child it was clear that she remembered him almost exclusively as a young person. I learned from her that a mother's role is to always hold her "babies" in her heart. A person can only really remain a child in the eyes of their mother and father and it is important to have those people who will always see you as your most innocent and pure self.
My mother-in-law, Beverly, has shown me that when you love your children you must love ALL of them. You must accept them fully. Daniel is so honest with her and so himself in front of her and she loves him so unconditionally. Everyone needs a mama who thinks they are great NO MATTER WHAT and Beverly really adores her son immensely. Daniel is so certain of his mother's love and admiration that he never fakes anything with her.
My Aunt Judy is opinionated and smart. She tells it as she sees it and she does so with love. I know she probably drives her kids crazy with this at times but people always know she cares enough to tell you her opinion. She loves you enough to make you mad. She is generous in every way and never says things in a mean way. I have learned from her that you have to love your family enough to tell them things they may not want to hear and that, if you have always shown them love, they may get mad, but they will always know that it comes from the heart.
My Aunt Cindy is funny and supportive and kind. She will do anything to help the people she loves. She is an absolutely open-hearted kind person full of laughter and great advice. She is great to talk to and always has something nice to say. She cooks wonderful food, keeps a gorgeous home, says the kindest and most special things and loves others unconditionally. I know from watching her with her kids, grandson, nieces and nephews that a mother's/grandmother's/aunt's home should be a soft place to land full of love and laughter.
My sister-in-laws, all 3 so different, have taught me that loving your kids is an art not a science and there is no right way to do it. They are all so unique but each of them loves their kids in a very special way. Since I met Daniel I have watched them raise their kids and learned lots from each of them. I know, from knowing them and their kids, that all we can do is our best, whatever that may be. The children they have raised, funny and smart and interesting as they all are, have shown me that kids will flourish when loved and nurtured and that it is not always as much the "how" or "what" in raising your children as the "why." As long as the "why" is because you love your kids and want what is best for them you are on the right track.
Finally, my mom was attentive to me as a child. She was always aware of me. She always cared what was going on in my life. She always knew my friends and she watched over me closely. What I take from her is that children not only need to be watched and looked after for their safety but so that they know someone cares. It is important that they know they belong somewhere and with someone. It is important that they know in a big, scary world there is a small corner which is theirs. Growing up, I always knew that I was wanted and special.
I really believe that all the moms I know are good... because they are trying. I really hope that I can take pieces of them all and be a great mom and a great friend (someday) to my sons. I hope, most of all, that they know that I tried... really hard... For all of the mistakes that I may have made, I want them to be able to look back one day and say, "I know she loved us immensely and I know she busted her butt to be the best that she could be for us." That way they'll be able to forgive me if I lose my temper with them or make the wrong choice or tell them a lie because, truthfully, those things are going to happen.
Friday, June 1, 2012
Confessional # 7
I have not written a blog post in FOREVER! I apologize to all of my loyal fans and followers. (That's a joke in case you couldn't tell.)
I figured we were due up for some confessions so here we go:
1. I am in a very defeated, mopey, sad little mood today because I went to the O.B. and I am not dilated AT ALL and barely effaced. I knew I shouldn't let myself get hopeful since I am only 36 and a half weeks and because I never dilated much with Liam... but I did get hopeful. I didn't think I was having the baby today or anything but I just wanted to hear that I had made progress. I am so tired of being pregnant and I feel like I am not spending enough "quality" time with Liam because I am too tired and achy to play and do the things I wish I could. I am just over the whole pregnancy thing. Sooo - in response to not getting my way - today I am not cleaning or doing housework or completing anything on my to do list and just moping and feeling sorry for myself. Yes, this is childish, but I am tired (really tired!) and unmotivated.
2. Today at the doctor there was a toddler about Liam's age walking around and playing and exploring and his pregnant mom was chasing him around the waiting room. I felt bad that I made Liam sit in his stroller and did not let him get out and play but my back was hurting and I didn't want to deal with the inevitable fit that would have ensued when it was time to get back into his stroller. In short, apparently the other pregnant mama is a stronger woman than I am. Oh well.
3. My mail lady and I have a feud going on. Can you believe that? Sounds insane. But it is true. She hates me and I hate her. She hates me so much that she ran over our garbage can last week and left a huge dent in it. I will not bore with you the details. It is, for the record, 100 % HER fault.
Sorry, wish I had more, maybe my funky little mood and my exhaustion are making it difficult for me to think. I don't know. I read once that you should blog every single day in order to keep in the rhythm and the practice of writing and I think that that is probably very true. I will try and do a much better job of posting more!
I figured we were due up for some confessions so here we go:
1. I am in a very defeated, mopey, sad little mood today because I went to the O.B. and I am not dilated AT ALL and barely effaced. I knew I shouldn't let myself get hopeful since I am only 36 and a half weeks and because I never dilated much with Liam... but I did get hopeful. I didn't think I was having the baby today or anything but I just wanted to hear that I had made progress. I am so tired of being pregnant and I feel like I am not spending enough "quality" time with Liam because I am too tired and achy to play and do the things I wish I could. I am just over the whole pregnancy thing. Sooo - in response to not getting my way - today I am not cleaning or doing housework or completing anything on my to do list and just moping and feeling sorry for myself. Yes, this is childish, but I am tired (really tired!) and unmotivated.
2. Today at the doctor there was a toddler about Liam's age walking around and playing and exploring and his pregnant mom was chasing him around the waiting room. I felt bad that I made Liam sit in his stroller and did not let him get out and play but my back was hurting and I didn't want to deal with the inevitable fit that would have ensued when it was time to get back into his stroller. In short, apparently the other pregnant mama is a stronger woman than I am. Oh well.
3. My mail lady and I have a feud going on. Can you believe that? Sounds insane. But it is true. She hates me and I hate her. She hates me so much that she ran over our garbage can last week and left a huge dent in it. I will not bore with you the details. It is, for the record, 100 % HER fault.
Sorry, wish I had more, maybe my funky little mood and my exhaustion are making it difficult for me to think. I don't know. I read once that you should blog every single day in order to keep in the rhythm and the practice of writing and I think that that is probably very true. I will try and do a much better job of posting more!
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Why, yes, I AM mom enough...
The recent Time cover article entitled "Are You Mom Enough?" is getting a lot of buzz... partially because there's a child, who looks like he may be off to college any day, pictured breastfeeding on the cover and partially because the article details the tenets of "Attachment Parenting" which is controversial and guilt-inducing for many parents. I have seen TV specials and read other articles as well as seen some TV interviews with celebrities as well as with Dr. Sears ("the guy" as far as this stuff goes) about this style of parenting over the years so the ideas explained in Time didn't shock me. I knew there was a group of people out there who really believed firmly in these parenting principles. If you don't know what Attachment Parenting is it has to do with spending your entire life attached to your child. You "wear" the baby (in a sling or backpack, etc.), sleep with the baby, breastfeed the baby until... well... seemingly indefinitely....and pretty much never, ever spend any time apart from your child. As I mentioned, the "guru" of this whole thing is an old man named Dr. Sears who seems nice enough but who, honestly, kind of makes me angry with his theories which seem to say that parenthood should be all-encompassing and that it is selfish to think otherwise. (For instance: Never let a baby cry... ever. They are ALWAYS crying for a reason. You should always go to them immediately.)
People all over the place are discussing this article, this cover and what the title implies about parents (particularly moms, obviously) who don't practice this style of parenting. The implication is pretty clear to me: ARE YOU MOM ENOUGH TO DEVOTE EVERY MILLISECOND OF YOUR LIFE TO YOUR BABY? If not... well... be ready for the consequences... As a stay at home mom I find the "attachment parenting" style completely unrealistic and, frankly, kind of horrible which, of course, makes me feel guilty. I can't imagine what it makes working moms feel like (I am envisioning absolute nervous breakdowns). So, in response to the idea that I am expected to do nothing but live, breathe and eat my kids (you know what I mean), I am a mom enough to admit the following things....
I am mom enough to admit that Liam has never spent one night in our bed with us. This was obviously initially partly due to the SIDS risk and the pediatricians' firm warnings. Now it is because it is OUR BED and OUR ROOM and the one place in this whole house which does not have ANY of his belongings in it and we like it that way. At 8:00 at night Liam goes to bed in his room and we get to interact as two grown-ups. I don't want him in our bed. Derek will be sleeping all by himself as well. Thankyouverymuch.
I am mom enough to say that Liam only got about 3 weeks worth of breast milk. He didn't latch on... ever... not once... so I pumped constantly at all hours of the night and day trying to store up a supply for him and I was never, ever able to really produce enough breastmilk so, at about a month old, he went to straight formula. It was an intense source of guilt at the time but he seems to be doing OK at 14 months old. He is very bonded to myself and his father and is healthy as an ox. I think breastfeeding is great but, jeez people, you make a woman feel like a total failure if it just doesn't work out. Oh, and just for the record, had he latched right on I am pretty sure he would have only breastfed for a year at the absolute most. I don't care what you say, I am not breastfeeding a 3 year old. I will try again with Derek but, ultimately, will not give myself heart problems over the whole thing.
I am mom enough to admit that Liam is playing independently on the floor as I type this. He is not strapped to my back peering over my shoulder at the computer like a little pet monkey. He is entertaining himself.
I am mom enough to admit that I love doing stuff without Liam.. like grocery shopping, going out to eat, going to the doctor's office... and the list goes on. I don't want him with me every second of every single day. I like him an awful lot and we are buddies but, every now and then, some alone time is pretty great. In fact, I wish I had more of it. You want to come babysit my kid?
I am mom enough to admit that, at this point in my pregnancy with Derek, my back hurts so much and so often that I actively try NOT to carry Liam whenever possible. I think I would rather sit on a bed of nails than carry him in a carrier all day.
I am mom enought to admit that Liam was sleep trained by "crying it out" and Derek will be too. I am not going to pretend to like hearing a baby cry from his crib but I DO like that my son goes to bed by himself at the same time every night.
I am mom enough to admit that I worry constantly that I am doing the wrong thing and that my sons will pay for it in the end so I don't need some old gray-haired pediatrician (however well-meaning he may be) pushing guilt-inducing and, in my opinion, unrealistic ideas about parenting and motherhood down my throat.
I am mom enough to say that I will love my children to the end of the world and back and that they will always be incredibly important to their father and I but they cannot and will not be the only thing I think about, my ONLY priority and my ONLY reason for existence... and I will not be holding them and cuddling them every second of their childhood. I am willing to run the risk that this will turn them into serial killers.
As a mom, I am enough... I am doing enough, trying enough, working hard enough and putting in enough hours. I am doing the absolutely best that I can and, if it doesn't seem like enough based on some ideal outlined in a magazine then oh freaking well. And I mean that.
If you're a mom out there worrying about the things that this article says please give yourself a late Mother's Day present and forget you ever read it or heard about it and continue to do your best.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Top 8 Things I am Looking Forward to POST-pregnancy
I have made no secret of my hatred of being pregnant. I really, really am not one of those happy, cute pregnant girls. I am cranky and achy and feel sorry for myself. In that (negative, I know) spirit, here is a list of things I am DYING to do/eat/enjoy/drink/have once my precious boy is here. Though it seems like complaining (and, is complaining, honestly), it is my way of looking for the light at the end of the tunnel which makes me feel more positive!
In no particular order:
1. Sleep!!! Holy Moly! I want to sleep. I don't even care if I have to get up every 2 hours with the baby as long as I can sleep comfortably without an aching back and legs for the two hours I do sleep.
2. Rare meat and raw fish!!! Steak and sushi, please... and raw oysters... and ahi tuna... and... oh I could go on and on... Yummmm...
3. Wine! Man, I love wine. I just love it and I miss it so. I know this makes me sound like a bit of an alcoholic but I don't care. I want to drink a huge glass of wine on my back deck with my husband!
4. I can't wait to really be able to exercise again. Even walking too much gives me a backache now and my legs ache and hurt just getting around Target. I cannot wait to be able to really exercise... and, yes, get my body back!
5. Energy. I can't wait to shake this constant fatigue. It would be so nice to be able to get through a day without feeling like I need a nap. I know this may take a while... probably a few months until baby boy starts sleeping through the night... but I so look forward to the day that the boys sleep and I have the energy to DO something.
6. I cannot wait to be able to reach my toes to paint them and shave my legs without looking like a bug turned over on its back.
7. Caffeine, please. Don't get me wrong. I drink a little caffeine now but I am a caffeine addict and want to drink copious amounts again!!! : )
8. I think the thing I am looking forward to the very most is having an itty bitty baby around again. I never could have imagined how quickly Liam would stop wanting/needing to sleep in my arms or would become so stubborn and strong-willed. He became a toddler too quickly. I know Derek will too but at least I get to do the "baby" thing again for a little while.
In no particular order:
1. Sleep!!! Holy Moly! I want to sleep. I don't even care if I have to get up every 2 hours with the baby as long as I can sleep comfortably without an aching back and legs for the two hours I do sleep.
2. Rare meat and raw fish!!! Steak and sushi, please... and raw oysters... and ahi tuna... and... oh I could go on and on... Yummmm...
3. Wine! Man, I love wine. I just love it and I miss it so. I know this makes me sound like a bit of an alcoholic but I don't care. I want to drink a huge glass of wine on my back deck with my husband!
4. I can't wait to really be able to exercise again. Even walking too much gives me a backache now and my legs ache and hurt just getting around Target. I cannot wait to be able to really exercise... and, yes, get my body back!
5. Energy. I can't wait to shake this constant fatigue. It would be so nice to be able to get through a day without feeling like I need a nap. I know this may take a while... probably a few months until baby boy starts sleeping through the night... but I so look forward to the day that the boys sleep and I have the energy to DO something.
6. I cannot wait to be able to reach my toes to paint them and shave my legs without looking like a bug turned over on its back.
7. Caffeine, please. Don't get me wrong. I drink a little caffeine now but I am a caffeine addict and want to drink copious amounts again!!! : )
8. I think the thing I am looking forward to the very most is having an itty bitty baby around again. I never could have imagined how quickly Liam would stop wanting/needing to sleep in my arms or would become so stubborn and strong-willed. He became a toddler too quickly. I know Derek will too but at least I get to do the "baby" thing again for a little while.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Confessional # 6
Liam has grown from a baby to a toddler and has become more strong willed and stubborn and smart... which also makes him exhausting, trying and A LOT OF FUN! Here are some confessions about my TODDLER boy!
1. Liam almost always has a scratch, bruise or bump somewhere on his body of which neither I nor Daniel can tell you the origin. Although it would seem as though we must leave him unattended all day, I promise we don't. He is such a boy... wild and full of energy and he is constantly slamming himself into things or slamming things into himself. Sometimes when he is playing in his playpen he reminds me of a caged ape... he just starts throwing toys and shrieking and rolling around and shaking the whole pen. He is not mad. He is having great fun. It is absolutely hysterical. I assume that many of his bruises come from these types of little "fits."
2. He is a beggar. He has become absolutely terrible about trying to take our food and drinks right out of our hands or reaching onto our plates to grab a piece of something. He also comes up and stares when we are trying to eat. He particularly begs for ice cream, Cheez-its and anything in a "big person cup" or soda can. We usually give in and give him a little something. I know it is a bad habit (and probably is teaching him TERRIBLE manners) but it is also pretty cute.
3. He has also started smacking people (sometimes when he is annoyed or not getting his way, but also just because he seems to think it is funny) and Daniel and I have not been able to figure out how to get him to stop. Another bad habit... oh my...
4. He loves to hear stories... which is great... but he likes to hear the same 2 or 3 stories OVER and OVER (as stated above he is stubborn and when he doesn't care to hear a story because it is not one of his personal favorites he makes it well known) and sometimes I just can't read them AGAIN so we don't read. I know that it is probably not great that I cancel reading time in favor of watching cartoons or letting him tear apart his room but "No, David!", "Bubbles Bubbles" and "Mealtime Fun" are just getting OLD. : (
1. Liam almost always has a scratch, bruise or bump somewhere on his body of which neither I nor Daniel can tell you the origin. Although it would seem as though we must leave him unattended all day, I promise we don't. He is such a boy... wild and full of energy and he is constantly slamming himself into things or slamming things into himself. Sometimes when he is playing in his playpen he reminds me of a caged ape... he just starts throwing toys and shrieking and rolling around and shaking the whole pen. He is not mad. He is having great fun. It is absolutely hysterical. I assume that many of his bruises come from these types of little "fits."
2. He is a beggar. He has become absolutely terrible about trying to take our food and drinks right out of our hands or reaching onto our plates to grab a piece of something. He also comes up and stares when we are trying to eat. He particularly begs for ice cream, Cheez-its and anything in a "big person cup" or soda can. We usually give in and give him a little something. I know it is a bad habit (and probably is teaching him TERRIBLE manners) but it is also pretty cute.
3. He has also started smacking people (sometimes when he is annoyed or not getting his way, but also just because he seems to think it is funny) and Daniel and I have not been able to figure out how to get him to stop. Another bad habit... oh my...
4. He loves to hear stories... which is great... but he likes to hear the same 2 or 3 stories OVER and OVER (as stated above he is stubborn and when he doesn't care to hear a story because it is not one of his personal favorites he makes it well known) and sometimes I just can't read them AGAIN so we don't read. I know that it is probably not great that I cancel reading time in favor of watching cartoons or letting him tear apart his room but "No, David!", "Bubbles Bubbles" and "Mealtime Fun" are just getting OLD. : (
 |
| Such a little busy body... |
Too cool for mama...
Scratch on his nose... who knows where it came from? Oh well...
I did not get the ice cream out for this little guy but he managed to weasel some out of me anyway.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
The N.C. Marriage Amendment... What This Means for My Sons
Let me begin by saying that I am not deeply spiritual and definitely not religious but I don't have even the slightest problem with organized religion. Let's face it, life is tough and I am in favor of anything that brings people peace, creates unity and gives people a sense of purpose. Christianity, as well as most of the world's religions, is based on principles that I can really get behind - love one another, treat others as you would like to be treated - good, solid stuff. Who can argue against those ideals? The problem arises, for me, when people start to warp their religion's basic tenants into something ugly, judgmental and unkind. Much evil has been done in the name of someone's "God" (abortion clinic bombings, murderous rampages, 9/11, The Crusades, the horrible things that Warren Jeffs was doing in Texas... the list goes on). It's easy to do terrible things in the name of your religion when you start deciding for yourself what God's intentions are and then believing that it is your job to carry out his will. I really believe that discrimination against homosexuals is one of those evils being carried out in God's name.
The truth of the matter is that God has no place in politics. One of the most basic tenants of our American government is the separation of church and state which means we have NO official religion and should never base our laws on religious doctrine. One of the most basic tenants of Christianity is that humans, inherently flawed as they are, have no right to judge one another... that's God's job. So, the way I see it, this amendment flies in the face of what America is supposed to stand for AND it flies in the face of what Christians are supposed to believe.
Gay marriage is a civil rights issue. Telling two gay people they can't marry is no different than the oppression of African Americans that is such a black mark on our country's history. It doesn't matter what you believe about homosexuality or gay people. As American citizens, they should be afforded the same rights as anyone else. If you're Christian then it has to do with treating people as you would like to be treated. How would you like it if someone told you that your relationship, as loving and committed as it may be, was not worthy of acknowledgment? That it was perverse and wrong? That it was a threat to children? To imply that gay people (merely by existing and committing to one another) are a threat to children is possibly one of the most horrible insults I can imagine. Whether it's explicitly stated the implication is that gay people are proverbial lepers (people, by the way, that Jesus hung out with quite a bit, as you may recall).
If this amendment gets passed, what does this mean for my sons? Well, for one, it means that if they are gay they will NOT be treated as equal citizens. But if they are straight it means that my sons will grow up in a place and time where our society still believes it is OK to systematically and overtly discriminate against entire groups of people. I am very proud to be an American and would certainly never want to live anywhere else but I think Americans can do better than this. I really do. I think this country is based on much better values and that most Americans are well-meaning and generally good. So let's make this a better place for my kids (and yours). Please.
The truth of the matter is that God has no place in politics. One of the most basic tenants of our American government is the separation of church and state which means we have NO official religion and should never base our laws on religious doctrine. One of the most basic tenants of Christianity is that humans, inherently flawed as they are, have no right to judge one another... that's God's job. So, the way I see it, this amendment flies in the face of what America is supposed to stand for AND it flies in the face of what Christians are supposed to believe.
Gay marriage is a civil rights issue. Telling two gay people they can't marry is no different than the oppression of African Americans that is such a black mark on our country's history. It doesn't matter what you believe about homosexuality or gay people. As American citizens, they should be afforded the same rights as anyone else. If you're Christian then it has to do with treating people as you would like to be treated. How would you like it if someone told you that your relationship, as loving and committed as it may be, was not worthy of acknowledgment? That it was perverse and wrong? That it was a threat to children? To imply that gay people (merely by existing and committing to one another) are a threat to children is possibly one of the most horrible insults I can imagine. Whether it's explicitly stated the implication is that gay people are proverbial lepers (people, by the way, that Jesus hung out with quite a bit, as you may recall).
If this amendment gets passed, what does this mean for my sons? Well, for one, it means that if they are gay they will NOT be treated as equal citizens. But if they are straight it means that my sons will grow up in a place and time where our society still believes it is OK to systematically and overtly discriminate against entire groups of people. I am very proud to be an American and would certainly never want to live anywhere else but I think Americans can do better than this. I really do. I think this country is based on much better values and that most Americans are well-meaning and generally good. So let's make this a better place for my kids (and yours). Please.
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