Saturday, June 16, 2012

Confessional # 8 - The "Waiting on Derek" Edition

As I wait on this second miraculous boy to join our family, I confess: I am getting a little silly, crazy, irrational and nutty...


1.  I don't know if this qualifies as a confession but, if you know me, you know why this is embarrassing and funny.  After I read online that dancing can bring on labor, Liam and I have had multiple "Dance Derek Out Parties".  The image of my 9 month pregnant self dancing around the living room in my PJ's is hysterical, especially since I can't dance when I am not pregnant.  We made a video but that will be for family only viewing as it is both hilarious and a little bit grotesque.  It's been a lot of fun even if it doesn't help get Derek out.  (Silly)

2.  My current worst fear is that I will go into labor suddenly in the middle of the night, my sister in law will have to rush over to sit with Liam and the house will be messy.  Thus, every night before bed I straighten everything up.  I don't want to leave dishes in the sink and I feel the need to sweep.  This is ridiculous because she would not care at all and I know I, personally, would have much bigger fish to fry but I still feel the need to do it every night.  (Crazy)

3.  I find myself almost crying every day at least once imagining being in the hospital with Derek and being away from Liam for a few days.  I literally can't stand the thought.  He is the most easy, adjustable, flexible kid and he will be in great hands, of course, but I just find myself emotionally overcome thinking about him being away from both of his parents for an extended period of time and worry that he will think he has been replaced by Derek.  : (  (Irrational)

4.  I was induced with Liam and never went into labor on my own so I keep worrying that I won't know that I am in labor and I Google the signs of labor over and over.  I know everyone says "You'll know.." but my personality is such that I want someone to explain to me EXACTLY what will happen in what order so I can know within, say, 5 minutes of labor beginning that I am, indeed, in labor.  I can't stand the not knowing.  (Nutty)

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